Humbling Realization

So, it's rare that I actually have something thought provoking to blog about. Mostly, this blog has been the avenue in which I can post the best pictures of the week, single out the good things my children accomplish, and a way that we can look at the past and know that we are heading towards a grand future together.  With that in mind. I had a harsh realization last night during FHE.

Austin gave the lesson about making goals.  He gave us five areas to improve ourselves, and then we wrote down our individual goals. During the writing time, I helped Eddie and Ryan prepare their lists all the while Molly was rolling all over us.  When it was time to turn in our lists, I didn't have one.  That's when I really learned about being a mother.

I can't make "big" goals that my children and Austin can.  But, I can spend my time and use my talents to help the nine other members of my family achieve theirs.  I've found that if I make grand goals or long to-do lists, I forget the people all around me.  I'm too consumed on accomplishing my wants, that I forget all their needs.

Just these pasts months I've changed my to-do list into a list where I list the name of all the members in my family and then write one way in which I can help them that day -- whether that be creating a book report, jumping on the tramp, sitting to read or simply stopping to look them in their eyes.  It seems to make a difference in my world in much greater ways than my lists of endless chores.

I suppose that I have lost myself in the service of others, so I'm hoping that I will recognize my efforts while in the service of Christ.  When I reach the judgement bar, I want to have used up all my nurturing talents, all my charity skills, and my song voice.  I don't want to be a beautiful body, I want to be a beautiful soul.  I want to live with Him again -- that is my goal.  And each day I do work towards it.  I am trying.  That's what counts.