Maisie (shouting in the DQ booth): “Ew, gross. Mom, why does that boy have an earring in his ear?”
Andy (yelling through my closed bedroom door): “A dog is in our house running around the couch.”
Nick (while tucking him in tonight): “Let me show you where my barf is.”
Meg (moments later from her bed): “What color is the barf? Does it smell? What kind of chunks are in it?”
Austin (while pouring milk at the dinner table): “This soup looks like it’s just been fertilized. I wonder what color it will make your potty.”
Really? All of these questions and comments in less than 2 hours. No wonder I’m crazy.
I was hoping for these alternatives.
Maisie (nicely whispering in the DQ booth): “Mom, thanks for the ice cream. I sure love being with our family. Especially because recreational eating is delightful.”
Andy (yelling through my closed bedroom door): “Mom, the neighbor’s dog was outside while you were feeding the baby, so I resisted the urge to open the door and say hello.”
Nick (while tucking him in tonight): “Dinner was so good. My tummy feels just right because you prepared a perfectly balanced meal.”
Meg (moments later from her bed): “Mom, thanks for helping me sew my stitchery and allowing me to read all afternoon. My book is getting so good. Oh, how I love to read.”
Austin (while pouring milk at the dinner table): “Nice wife. You have outdone yourself today. I can’t wait to try this sweet pea soup and lovely Panini. How good of you to spend time pouring through Everyday Food mags to plan our meals.”
The DQ proof -- our first time eating in a booth at DQ.
5 comments:
ROTFL! This is your best post yet! The perfect mix of clever and sweet, funny and surprising, and beautiful pictures for my homesick eyes to feast upon. Your children are beautiful and so big, and I'm so sad I'm missing it.
P.S. I'm trying to be patient about waiting for the Maisie's scissor mastery post.
At least the actual comments are much funnier than the alternative comments you would have preferred. At least Nick told you he barfed. I usually find out the cat has barfed when I step in it. I try to take the view of "at least I didn't have to look for it."
George, don't tell Nichole about the cat, she fears the furry felines enough as it is, come to think of not hot on dogs either, i hope the neighbors was a quiet one who simple left when you politly asked it from across the room. And this was seriously a funny post.
Oh man this was great. Really, really great. Your kids are getting SO big. I love that as I read about a dog running through your house, I was disgusted for you...not that you needed it.
Tears of funniness came to our eyes as we read this. Love loved it!
Post a Comment